They met online. Seeking long-term love and commitment, they both claimed. Their affair began with sweet words exchanged, leading to long love letters in which they professed their undying devotion, their desire for one another. There were powerful emotions and hormones with neurotransmitters surging through them both. They became literally obsessed with one another.
But there were disappointments in the beginning. She was demanding, he was unavailable much of the time. He was steady, she was flighty. He was focused on the target, she could think only of kissing him for the first time. They argued, they fought; leaving them both exhausted and drained. Their fights were over meaningless things. He would change plans, thinking little of it, while she would be devastated by yet another delay in their first meeting.
But they did damage, those fights. Fights always do damage even when both parties say all is forgiven. The pain remains, latent, waiting for an opportunity to surge forward and say "see, no way can we find love at our age. It won't happen. It cannot happen."
So they waited. Nervous hope and and anxiety plagued them both before that first meeting. They tried to communicate their feelings, neither was successful. And so they waited.
She fantasized about him. Thoughts of his kiss created a near-constant state of physical arousal. Feeling the moistness between her legs embarrassed her. Her post-menopausal state completely forgotten; she reveled in these new sensations. She felt as though she was floating in some other-worldly place, feeling only his imagined kisses, the hardness of his body pressed against hers.
He thought about her too. He wanted to believe she was the woman he had been waiting for. But how could he really be sure? She's nuts, he thought to himself after yet another stupid argument in their new romance. She is completely unreasonable, he thought to himself. "How does she not understand how important my work is? Why can't she be patient like me?" It was beyond his understanding.
The sun was setting low with rich orange flames, tentacles of light stretching across the horizon. He walked slowly along the waters edge, remembering those early days. "I was ready to give up, ready to walk away." Tears filled his ancient eyes as he looked toward the house and thought about that crazy blue-eyed girl who had so taken his heart away. He wondered about her, as he often did.
He wondered, where had she come from? "Why was I so drawn to her? And why, dear Lord, why did she drive me so crazy? What exactly was I supposed to do about that woman? The woman I loved so much, but with a fiery personality that scared me a little? What does a man do when the love of his life is so frightening?"
As he approached the window, he could see flame from the hearth flickering and it warmed his heart as much as it warmed the room within. Smoke curled in the air as it emerged from the chimney, the brisk smell of an early winter, he thought.
He reached the door and stepped inside. Music was playing softly in another room, and the aroma of fresh-baked bread filled the air. Stepping out of his boots he stared across the room in quiet thought. "I wonder what would have happened if things had been different?" he thought to himself.
His reverie was broken by a sudden outburst of singing. He turned and saw her there as she broke into song along with the radio and a smile crept across his face. She is still crazy, he thought. "My crazy, beautiful love" he thought. It had now been 32 years since they met. He remembered her face the day they married. He remembered her promise to him. He remembered that she vowed to love and cherish him always. And she had done exactly that. They had many highs and lows over their time together. Now, as he looked into those blue eyes he first fell in love with, he thanked God.
